• 5 Tips for Growing in Confidence as a Leader.

    At the end of August, we have the privilege of having Helen and Ben Askew hosting a Facebook live over in our community group. They shared with us their Top 5 tips for growing in confidence as a leader. 

    Below is a summary of the wisdom and insight they shared from 20 years on the coal face of missional living and leadership!

    Quick intro –

    Helen and Ben lead Kairos Network Church in Harrogate. Ben is ordained in the Anglican church and Helen spins a few plates working with The Order of Mission , teaching piano and overseeing missional communities.

    The church they lead is a family member church, they love being part of Kairos Connexion and enjoy the training and relationships. The also rescue guinea pigs occasionally. 

    So lets get down to it!

    How to grow in confidence as a leader.

    Ben starts by pointing us to 1Timothy 1 v7 – ‘For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.’

    Come back to God and ask the Lord to grow courage within you

    Know who God has made you in leadership.

    Who you are, and who God made you is good – don’t fall into comparison. Comparison is the thief of Joy – and confident in leadership! 

    We need to walk in who we are ourselves. 

    ‘I’ve spent too much time trying to imitate other people’s style and skills, rather than looking to imitate their character’

    Develop your own skills confidently and inhabit your own personality. We often don’t see many different types of leaders, we need to see a variety of leadership types, i.e. not everyone is confident alpha male! You can be free to lead from the personality and gifts God has given YOU – not someone else.

    Lead as YOU not your best impression of someone else.

    Deal with your junk!

    We all have different things which have got in the way of us growing; sins, habits, disappointment, family or relationships. 

    Deal with your junk, or these things will pop up and undermine your confidence. We need to grow, practice repentance and belief. Turn towards the truth about what Jesus says about you. If you pay attention to things, they will weigh you down.

    Have people around you who are going to encourage you, invest in you, and help you grow.

    We need people around us on a few different levels, 

    Mentor level – to guide you.

    Peer level – to cheer you on.

    We are made to learn and to grow within community. We need other people around us to enable this growth.


    Who are the cheerleaders in your life? 

    Who can you go to for encouragement and some help?

    Accept your limitations

    You don’t have to be Jesus – that’s his job! 

    You don’t have to do everything. 

    It’s really healthy to get to know what you’re not so great at, what you find difficult. What are the aspects of your personality which you need to work on? 

    Know yourself and work out what costs you more than other things. Then you can empower others in your team to do these things, and to work collaboratively to build team which is whole and means you don’t have to be the star of every show.

    STOP! Have good periods of rest.

    Invest in yourself – know when you need rest or training. 

    You are worth investing in. 

    Good leadership is not about keeping on going and going and going, until you can’t do any more. That isn’t good leadership – that’s often pride. 

    You have to rest! 

    You are not so important that you can’t rest. God is much bigger than that. Invest in your health, your emotional wellbeing, have fun. Invest in your mental health, seek counselling if you are struggling, take time out to restore and rest.

    You may have times of self-doubt, this is normal, be honest with those around you.

    When we talk about growing in confidence in leadership, it is growing in confidence in who God is. When we trust in Him, in His ability.

    Keep asking God what is next, trust Him for the outcome.

    Thanks to Ben and Helen for these wise words of encouragement.

    If you want to watch the full video head to our community facebook group, here.

  • Missional Community – Family, Litter Picking and Community Action.

    One of our Missional Communities is full of families who love to hang out, feast together and encourage each other in their parenting.

    We are a real mix of people and ages and we love being an extended family to each other. Recently, in a number of discussions the area of helping raise children who understand the importance of ‘looking after God’s world’ and being a bright positive light for Jesus in our neighbourhoods was raised.

    The children in the group seem to grasp this instinctively whilst us adults seem to always find the challenges in this. So we decided to get out and do something really practical- litter picking the neighbourhood around our church building. 

    We have been litter picking a couple of times now and we have had some really interesting moments. Firstly it has been brilliant for us as a community to be out together serving in such a practical way.

    We have had some giggles and the kids have loved dressing up in the high viz like Bob the Builder!

    Secondly we have had some great conversations with our local council and they have given us all the equipment we need to litter pick in exchange for a few social media posts. These relationships have already been significant and we sense some ‘places or people of peace here’. Thirdly we have had some brilliant conversations with those in the neighbourhood. It is a mixed community around us in terms of age and ethnicity.

    It is an area which really needs to know the light only God can bring. Rich and Paul (two of the group) have especially had some significant conversations with some of the neighbourhood around why would a family group like us litter pick this community.

    “The amazement and welcome we receive from those we meet whilst out and about is certainly sowing seeds of hope and God’s love. 

    Finally though it has impact our wider church community. Over this summer we have been sharing in a video teaching programme called ‘It’s a wonderful world’ which has got us all engaging with practical ways we can ’tread lightly’ on the world God has given us.

    Do head to Burlington’s Facebook page to see the teaching or here

    Together as a whole church we are considering how we can steward the world God has given us well and in doing so be a light to others in our communities.

    The area of plastic pollution and zero waste challenges are hot topics at the moment and the church have a significant voice in this area. We are having brilliant and easy discussions with people of peace around this and our prayer is that these will turn into positive views of God’s family growing. 

    Do you have a story to share of life as part of a missional community? Do let us know!

  • Walking in the footsteps of Jesus

    We peered down into the house of Simon Peter from above, the exact same
    view that the 4 men with the paralytic would have had as they dug through the layers of mud and straw rolled and baked to provide a waterproof coving for the large, wealthy, beach-front property owned by Peters family, in order to get their friend to Jesus.

    It made me wonder how far I’d go to bring my friends to Jesus.

    Damaging property, risking anger and rejection, creating mayhem…
    not sure I’d go that far. Or walking down under the burning sun into Wadi Kelt, opposite the Jordan valley, where Jesus almost certainly had his encounter with the devil for 40 days after his baptism in the river.

    In this most inhospitable of places we meet a local shepherd bringing his flock up the path. On seeing us the sheep freeze, not sure whether we are safe to pass. With one small nod and sound from the shepherd they scuttle past, secure that they know the sound of the shepherd’s voice.

    I couldn’t help but think of Jesus words, ‘my sheep hear my voice and they follow me’. Do I know his voice as well as those sheep do their shepherd?

    So many kairos moments from Jerusalem, to Bethlehem, to the Jordan, to
    Nazareth and Capernaeum, and back to Jerusalem for Jesus final days.

    With Bob’s rabbi-like exposition of the scriptures under any nearby olive tree, we saw with fresh eyes the birth, life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. Jesus the man,

    Jesus the prophet,

    Jesus the miracle-worker,

    Jesus the teacher,


    Jesus the Messiah.

    We met with God powerfully in the upper room, where the Holy Spirit was
    poured out. Not the same building but exactly the same location. And then to discover that it was probably the home of John Marks family, the place the soldiers would first have come looking for Jesus before his arrest, the same place that Peter returns to when he was later released from prison.

    It was a wealthy home and almost certainly the location of the last supper, and Jesus’ oikos / base when in Jerusalem.

    So many stunning connections between the biblical narrative, cultural and
    historic insights, and archaeological evidence made the pilgrimage truly
    remarkable. We talk a lot about the ways of Jesus, and this trip brought them incredibly alive.

    I can’t recommend highly enough the experience of going with Bob Rognilien (author of Empowering Missional Disciples, and A Jesus Shaped Life) on ‘The Footsteps of Jesus experience’. It seemed like a lot of money before we went. When my wife Jenny and I returned we said ‘that was incredible value’.

    14 days of intense experience and insight to the life of Jesus. It was the trip of a lifetime for anyone who wants to know and love Jesus more completely.
    Check out future trips, availability and costs here .

  • When church happens with apples.

    At times, it’s easy to get so caught up in running, administering and leading a church, we can miss the chance to see the fruit of what is happening around us.

    From Cambridge to Newcastle, Coventry to Edinburgh there are people on the ground, spreading the love of Jesus in their missional communities.

    We know that it’s not about numbers, data, or results. 

    It’s about people. 

    People are messy, hard to predict and don’t fit into our neatly packaged ‘church’. 

    It’s as we see our missional communities grow, and people sharing the love of Jesus in every single area of their lives, that we see lasting growth which matures and develops.  Growth which isn’t just a ‘flash in the pan’ 

    Where people build authentic community, people will be added to God’s kingdom. 

    We loved this story from a group in Cambridge, building church, slowly but surely over an apple press!

    One of our missional communities hosted an annual event in the car park of my home, which was apple pressing. There are apple presses available to community groups in Cambridge, and because the city is full of apple trees it’s a great opportunity to connect with friends and neighbours and invite them to do apple pressing!

    People are invited to bring apples and empty drinks containers and join in a fun production line, Children get involved by climbing apple trees in the back of my garden to pick the fruit, as well as helping with all the pressing aspects. 

    Adults get into conversations as they chop apples side by side, and people in the missional community bring cake for a 4pm tea break. This has gone on at the front of my house for 3 years. 

    Most recently, however, the missional community decided they’d like to host the event in their neighbourhood to better connect with people in their own locality. This was great, and I still got involved. In fact, one of the families who’d helped pick apples the previous year and who don’t regularly go to church not only came again, but helped me connect with others in my neighbourhood.

    Whether it be over an apple press or a football game, taking part in activities neighbours already love to do, is a great way to make new connections and build relationships with those you may otherwise never speak to.

    Church based events are brilliant, but often it’s when we, the church, move out of our four walls and simply join in with what’s already going on do we see the most fruit. 

    If you have a story to share with us, do get in touch.

  • Discipling the Generations: 12th November, Sheffield

    Our annual Leaders Day this November is going to be focusing on the theme of ‘Discipling the Generations’. 

    Monday 12th November, 9.30am-4pm at St Thomas’ Church Philadelphia, part of Network Church Sheffield

    We are excited that we have Matt Summerfield (Urban Saints), John and Joanne O’Connor, (Junction 42), Rich Atkinson (Rebuild) and Lynn Alexander (Children Families and God) joining us to help us think through how we both disciple different generations of people, as well as how we disciple all-generations of people together as one church.

    This event is open to anyone and we have space for plenty of people so come along with your colleagues, teams and friends!  Tickets are now available at and we hope to see you there.

  • Introducing Modular Training

    From Nic:

    As I’ve been working with churches around the UK over the last 4 years, I’ve noticed that many leaders and churches are grappling with busyness, struggling budgets, multiple programmes, and high demand projects, but don’t feel they are being particularly effective in seeing lost people come to faith or in raising healthy and motivated disciples and leaders in the life of the church.

    The idea of growing communities of believers where discipleship is the air they breathe, mission the thing that gets them out of bed in the morning, and community the place where they find their most important extended family relationships – is a mere dream. The thought that these groups could also be the most fertile place for growing leaders for the future is a distant hope!

    Kairos Connexion supports leaders and equips churches to be effective in mission, discipleship, community and growing leaders. Our strapline is ‘raising missionary disciples’. Over the years we have developed numerous principles and practices that have blessed hundreds and hundreds of leaders across the UK.  We are now offering this same training through a ‘whole church, easy access, quick win, low cost’ approach.

    Join us for a taster days in either Cambridge or Liverpool to start this journey.

    Cambridge:  8th September,  1pm – 4pm

    Liverpool:  20th October,  9:30 – 12:30

    Contact or fill in our expression of interest form to find out more details about these events or to host a workshop in your area.

  • Typeform Data Breach – our response

    We suspect some data has been compromised in the Typeform breach.

    No personal data is affected.

    We were notified on Friday 29th June at 5:47pm that Typeform, a company we have used to collect survey results, has suffered a data breach. Our initial investigations confirm that no personal data has been compromised because the affected files did not collect any personal data.  We would like to reassure you that your personal data e.g. name, address, date of birth or bank details have not been affected by this data breach. We are currently reviewing our relationship with Typeform.

    The Kairos Connexion Team

  • Full-time Student Worker Post – Coventry


    One of the churches which is part of the Kx Midlands hub, Westwood Church, is recruiting for a full-time student worker and Form Discipleship year leader.


    Could it be you?


    Click the image for more info.


  • Kx Privacy Policy

    So, along with every other organisation you’re connected to in the EU, we’ve updated our data privacy notice in line with the new GDPR regulations.  If you’re interested in reading it you can find it here.

    If you’re not already signed up to receive our newsletter, or didn’t respond to our email asking you to confirm your details then you can do that here! We hope you will choose to stay connected to us.

    The Kx team

  • From “surviving” to “thriving” in business: Kx Special Offer

    Brandon Schaefer from Five Capitals is coming to the Kx North West Hub on September 14th & 15th. The Kx hub leaders recently spent some time with Brandon and found his input extremely helpful.

    This is how Five Capitals describe what they do:

    What does it look like to consistently live out a life that’s integratedfull, and impactful? It starts with our priorities, how we view them and live them out. To help participants assess and sort out the 

    priorities of life – we help them discern the “capital” they have in their life. Where do they have time, resources, insights, experiences, relationships to invest to truly and intentionally go after what they desire for their life?

    You can find out more on their website

    More details about programme and how to book are coming soon, but it will include a focus on business leaders and entrepreneurs and being a disciple in the workplace.

    If you can’t get to the event in September or if you want to get into some of Brandon’s teaching before then, he has let us know about a 5-week webinar series on ‘The Four Essentials of Business’ which is starting next week on Thursday 3rd May. Click here for a flyer with more details.  Brandon has given Kx subscribers a gift – if you sign up and use the code “ThriveWithEssentials” you will get a $75 discount. 

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